resilient

{free write #ramblinofheart on the word resilient which came up recently}

nothing is more important than the moment in front of me. and I trust myself that i’ve put in the work to know that this moment whatever it looks like is worthyyy of my presence and attention.  there is nothing else i need to do or anywhere else I need to be more than giving this moment my time and energy. and if upon reflection of that time i am depleted or anxious or enraged i will see and be with that too and know that it is here to remind me of what is important to me and be damn sure i create time to find more joy and ease-filled moments to not just balance life but to thrive in it. 

resiliency is this for me. that I’m here EMBODIED and present and able to see this brutiful life (glennon coined that well).  wide and narrow. day to day. night to night. 

there was much of my existence that was just that … existing. living life in the escape or one step ahead of myself. and upon reflection of that i see too how it was resiliency in the moment. I was surviving the only way I knew how. to not let myself or the world get too close to the truth of my pained and broken and uncertain spirit.  

and in that time i was also building some capacity to grow into myself. to expand. my spirit line may have been congested but it was still there and even looking back i’d say leading me thru just the way i needed to learn.

people ask me often of my aha spiritual awakening and i wish i could say it was this obvious huge smack in the face and shift into grace but it was not for me. it has been quiet and slow and returning every day to myself {with a handful of pivotal moments}. 

maybe resiliency is the return. of ease. and awareness of what and who i am.  and learning to stand in that.

speak to that.

breathe for that. 

i cannot deny that breath + movement + meditation was and is a huge part of it all for me.  

the intentionality of alignment + foundation

flow + ease. 

core + ignition. 

heart + spaciousness. 

expression + release. 

perspective + flexibility. 

stillness + bliss. 

in my body and beyond. 

and yet, my kids and my family

my friendships and my work

my traumas and my therapy

MY JOYS.

all also parts of this spiritual return to fullness.  

resiliency. it’s buoyancy. it’s flow. it’s balance. it’s ground.

it’s life showing up and us receiving it well-ish. 

and it’s just a word. that makes up a part of who i am. who we are. 

what is most precious to me tho goes beyond any word or label and deep into BEING fully with myself, with you and with as many moments as I can <3