spaciousness.
the serendipitous-ness of this moment is not lost on me … as im writing these words about the weightiness of this blip in time I am also witnessing a baby bird leave her nest and it’s mama whistle her towards freedom.
oh that spaciousness. the fear and the love created in that gap from nest to fence. and the grief that is accompanying this transition for me currently, shew.
the magnitude of emotion is very alive in me right now.
it’s that spaciousness y’all. it pulses with the intense love that I have for my children. just like that mama bird on the fence no longer pressed on those bebes in warmth and protection.
“ You're covered in roses
You're covered in ashes
You're covered in rain
You're covered in babies
Covered in slashes
Covered in wilderness
You're covered in stains”
like the biggest waves I’ve felt in a while yet it’s from a distance … my arms don’t quite surround that circumference anymore I can’t just scoop them up and rock them and hold them and know it will be fine right here right now.
one phase of motherhood is leaving and i am letting go and pffff FEELING IT. and am just creating pockets of space for it to move. bc it’s too big to hold inside. that lump in my throat won’t just swallow.
and I know on the other side of this moment is a new birthing of experiences and mothering that will be just as beautiful and full even if sometimes from a distance.
and it’s stirring these waves of emotion and ripples in that line of independence and love and spaciousness created by my own mother
and hers
and hers before.
“ She moves behind me
She leaves her fingerprints
Everywhere
Every time the snow drifts
Every way the sand shifts
Even when the night lifts
She's always there”
my boys’ independence. supporting their ability to show up and be who they decide to be has always been a big part of my mothering and i am here for it. just at the very same time grieving our short tight direct line to this heart as it’s expanding and creating new vibrations in the world.
they are such beautiful human beings and i am so beyond grateful we are ours.
being your mother is the most brutiful precious gig of my life.
and to those who mother and nurture me so well, i am uplifted and thankful for the holding <3
“You're covered in roses
You're covered in ruins
You're covered in secrets
You’re covered in treetops
Covered in birds
Who can sing a million songs
Without any words“
* Mary by Patty Griffith stokes the fire of this rambling of heart. this song just oozes bittersweet mothering in a way that hits the nitty gritty of my soul.
#yoga #embodiment